The Trials and Triumphs of Finding a Doctor Abroad

Navigating a Big Decision: America or Abroad?

Shortly after discovering I was pregnant, I found myself in a back-and-forth decision about whether to return to America for the birth or stay and tackle this new chapter abroad. Being in another country, the entire process of finding a doctor and choosing a birth plan felt like a blend of excitement and uncertainty. I am grateful to have options to live abroad, but choosing where to deliver my baby was a big decision. I started my search by consulting with my husband’s family, who have had children recently and shared their insights into local healthcare. I also reached out to my gynecologist in America, only to encounter a frustrating hurdle: before I could even schedule an appointment, they wanted confirmation that I’d deliver the baby with them—a control tactic I wasn’t on board with.

Public vs. Private Healthcare: Our Priorities and Decisions

In my husband’s country, healthcare options include both public and private sectors, and the experiences of family members varied across the board. After visiting both types, my husband and I decided we were more comfortable with private healthcare, even if it meant a higher cost. For us, comfort with the provider and the hospital setting was key. Our first experience with a private doctor, however, was far from ideal; my husband felt he didn’t connect well with the doctor. It was important to me that he felt as comfortable with our provider as I did, especially since he wants to be part of the experience.

The second doctor we considered was part of the public system and had recently delivered my sister-in-law’s baby. She was warm and friendly, but we had language concerns. I speak the language limitedly, and while I was okay with my husband helping to translate during routine check-ups, for the delivery itself, I wanted a doctor who could directly understand my concerns. Additionally, I felt I was compromising on the quality of the hospital, which also had issues of bribery and hygiene that made me uncomfortable.

The Frustrations of Compromise and Cultural Adjustments

Adjusting to healthcare differences has its frustrations, especially when expectations don’t align. At one of my check-ups, the doctor wasn’t available, and the substitute was overly aggressive, made me feel uncomfortable, and even withheld some of my ultrasound printouts. The cherry on top was the lack of basic items like toilet paper in the public hospital’s restrooms, which made me realize I was compromising more than I was comfortable with.

Ultimately, these experiences helped me solidify my decision to continue my search, despite the stress of switching doctors.

Finding the Right Fit: Our Final Choice

At 27 weeks, we finally found a private doctor who seemed like the right fit. She has been incredibly thorough, got us back on track with all necessary tests, and addresses my concerns directly, with no need for my husband to translate. I feel more confident and am now excited to focus on other aspects of preparation, like gathering essentials and getting organized for the baby’s arrival.

Reflections and Advice for Future Moms

Looking back, I’m grateful for not settling early and for taking the time to find a doctor who aligns with my standards and values. For anyone going through this process, here are a few key takeaways:

• Ask questions. You should feel comfortable enough with your doctor to ask questions freely.
• Consider your partner’s comfort. Involving your partner’s feelings in the decision, especially if they want to be actively involved, can create a sense of shared responsibility.
• Don’t settle. If something feels off, trust your instincts. It’s perfectly okay to keep searching.
• Find a doctor who makes the effort. If you’re abroad, having a provider who actively tries to bridge any language gaps is invaluable.

Are you in a similar situation? Have questions or need some advice? I’d love to hear about your experiences, so feel free to reach out or drop a comment below!