Pregnancy Overseas: The Struggles and Realities
I became pregnant just a month after moving overseas, which, as you can imagine, threw me for a loop.
While I’m beyond excited to welcome this baby into the world, it was a complete surprise! I had my own plans lined up: learning the language, getting to know my husband’s family better, and figuring out whether we’d set down roots here or head back to America, where I was raised. Suddenly, those plans were overshadowed by morning sickness, doctor visits, and the reality that I’d be navigating this huge life change in a country that still feels new to me.
Being pregnant abroad has come with its fair share of struggles—some I expected, and others I definitely didn’t—but it’s also given me a new perspective on life and what it means to adapt when things don’t go as planned.
Navigating the Healthcare System: Hits and Misses
Living in a country that isn’t part of the European Union, I’ve experienced both the highs and lows of its healthcare system. There are definitely aspects I prefer over the American system, but others that have been a real challenge. Since the country is still developing, a lot is lacking—especially when it comes to patient care and experience.
One of the toughest parts has been dealing with poor bedside manner and communication skills from many doctors. At 27 weeks, I’m still searching for a doctor I feel comfortable with. While healthcare is technically free in public hospitals, it often comes with hidden costs—bribery to get proper care is not uncommon, and hygiene standards leave a lot to be desired. On multiple occasions, I’ve even encountered bathrooms without toilet paper in these public hospitals.
On the plus side, though, we’ve been impressed with the detailed reports that come with routine blood tests and other screenings. These reports are often much more thorough than what I’ve seen in the U.S., and testing is much more affordable, which is a relief. It’s nice to know that these important aspects of pregnancy care are accessible without breaking the bank.
Given the drawbacks of the public system, my husband and I have shifted our focus to private healthcare. While it’s pricier, it provides a level of comfort and professionalism we can trust. As of now, we haven’t confirmed who will deliver our little one, but I’ll be sure to update you all when we do!
Tackling the Language Barrier
One of the most challenging aspects of my pregnancy overseas has definitely been the language barrier. It’s incredibly frustrating not to be able to communicate about one of the most life-changing experiences of my life. I’ve had to rely on my husband as a translator when discussing medicine, making appointments, and speaking to healthcare providers. While he’s been a huge help, it’s tough not being able to express my thoughts and concerns directly, especially when it comes to something as important as my health and my baby’s well-being.
There’s also the added stress of delivery. In this country, husbands typically aren’t allowed in the delivery room, but that’s one thing I’m absolutely unwilling to compromise on. I want my husband by my side during this experience, and this has become the main question we ask every doctor we meet. It’s a non-negotiable for me, so we’ve made it a top priority in our search for the right provider.
Limited Product Selection & Import Fees
One of the most frustrating challenges has been the extremely limited selection of baby products available. Most stores here are locally owned “mom-and-pop” shops, and very few have websites, let alone delivery options. So, forget about ordering online from places like Amazon—there’s no easy way to get those convenient deliveries! And don’t even get me started on the post office situation. Nothing gets delivered to your front door. Instead, you have to go to the local post office to pick things up, which can be time-consuming and inconvenient.
On top of that, the import fees are steep—upwards of 20%! For any store carrying name-brand products, the prices are extremely marked up to cover these costs. It’s been a real challenge to find what we need without breaking the bank. As a workaround, we’ve resorted to having products shipped to my mom in America, who then sends them to us as “gifts” to avoid the hefty taxes. For larger items, like strollers and cribs, we’ve even traveled outside of the country to bring them back ourselves. It’s definitely not ideal, but it’s the best solution we’ve found so far.
Lack of Support & Emotional Struggles
I’m fortunate to have a pretty good support system here, especially with my husband’s family, which I’m grateful for. But even with that support, there are some emotional challenges that I’ve struggled with. While his family is wonderful, there’s just something about having your own mom by your side during pregnancy—especially as you get closer to the birth. My mom raised me; I know her food, her style of parenting, her warmth, and her comfort. It’s not the same having your husband’s mom there, particularly when you’re still just getting to know her.
With my mom, I can be 100% myself, completely comfortable. But with my in-laws, I feel like I have to be on my best behavior, even during a time when I want to just relax and enjoy this experience with my husband. It’s my first pregnancy, and I had imagined it as this beautiful bonding time for the two of us in our own space, but it’s hard when you constantly feel like there’s someone watching over your shoulder.
Emotionally, it’s been a struggle because I don’t want to offend or disrespect anyone, but at the same time, I want the freedom to become a mom without feeling like I’m being micromanaged. For me, having a child, especially your first, is an incredibly personal and intimate experience for husband and wife. In many ways, I feel like my in-laws will always be an outside presence, and it’s been quite lonely not being able to express my opinions, values, beliefs, and boundaries without feeling like it will upset someone.
It’s hard to say that I’m completely happy with all the challenges we are currently facing with family and in-laws. I’m taking it one day at a time and hoping that by the time I give birth, circumstances will shift enough to ease the pressure. I want to create the space I need to bond with my husband and to experience motherhood in a way that allows me to feel comfortable, rather than overwhelmed. In the meantime, I’ve been taking steps to explore more of the culture, enjoy the cooler air, and continue to advocate for my own needs and boundaries.
To all the moms out there, I want to remind you that you’re not alone in your struggles. We all face moments of feeling isolated or misunderstood, especially when it comes to balancing family dynamics and personal space. Whether you’re dealing with frustrations in your living situation, cultural differences, or feeling the weight of others’ expectations—know that it’s okay to voice those feelings. Your experience matters, and it’s important to advocate for your needs. Please share your thoughts, frustrations, or even the challenges you’re currently facing. Let’s support each other through this journey!
Feel free to drop a comment below or reach out—I’d love to hear from you.
